


how could an angel like you love me?

by AtLeAsTtHrEeLeTtErS25



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Bisexual Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Emily Prentiss, Only One Bed, Slow Burn, but jj loves her, emily thinks shes unlovable, no Will, sorry lmao, takes place around season 2 right after emily joins, this is my first fic so i don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:42:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29670900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtLeAsTtHrEeLeTtErS25/pseuds/AtLeAsTtHrEeLeTtErS25
Summary: Emily realizes she is starting to have feelings for a certain communications liaison but she knows JJ would never like her that way.Also a non-canon case fic where an unsub is killing lesbians in the weeks leading up to San Francisco's Pride Parade.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys this is my first fic guys so any suggestions in the comments would be appreciated!

Emily awoke to her phone ringing. Glancing at the screen she saw it was JJ.

“Uh- JJ- what’s up” she said, sitting up and rubbing her eyes to adjust to the light that streamed through her curtains. 

“We’ve got a case in San Francisco. Hotch wants us to leave in an hour, looks like it's a spree killer,” JJ said. 

“God, why is it that every time I have a free day to just relax we end up with a case.” Emily groaned. She had started working at the BAU only a few months ago but it seemed like she hadn’t had more than a day or two completely off the entire time.

“I’m afraid that's just how this job goes”

“Yeah, yeah it is. I’ll be there in 40.”

“Alright see you then Emily.”

“See you,” Emily said, hanging up. 

***************

The team flew out to San Francisco and headed to the police station as soon as they landed. JJ asked the officer where they should set up and he pointed them to a conference room in the back but not without not-so-subtly checking out JJ’s chest. Emily felt a wave of disgust come over her but she didn’t say anything. Once when the two of them were hanging out after work Emily had brought up the way that so many of the local cops tried to hit on her to JJ, but JJ brushed it off saying, “It's pretty much a part of being the liaison. I’m used to it by now.” Clearly she was a bit uncomfortable with the topic, so Emily had let it go. That didn’t stop her from getting angry every time it happened though.

Once they set up, Emily and Reid started going through files and working on a geographical profile while everyone else went their various ways, checking out the crime scenes and visiting the M.E. Already there were 3 victims from the last two weeks, all of which had all been stabbed to death and left in dumpsters. Looking over the victims was a bit harder than usual for Emily since all of the victims had been last seen at pride events leading up to the parade that weekend and while Garcia hadn’t yet confirmed the sexual orientation of all the victims, it was likely all of the women were gay. The reason it was hard was that Emily was also gay, though no one on the team knew yet. It wasn’t that she was closeted exactly, its just that it hadn’t come up in the few months she’d been at the BAU. Emily had always been a private person and besides it wasn’t really any of their business.

After a few hours of work, they had begun to narrow down the geographical profile but they were making slow progress and it was getting late so they decided there wasn’t much to do but head back to the hotel and call it a night. When they arrived at the hotel JJ went to go get everyone’s keycards and the rest of the team stood by the elevators, continuing their discussion of the case. When she came back from the front desk, JJ informed them that because the pride parade in San Francisco was so big all the hotels were booked already and they had barely managed to get 4 rooms (and only after JJ had desperately called 3 different hotels) so looked like Emily and JJ would be sharing a room, as well as Morgan and Reid. Of course if anyone was going to get their own room it was Hotch and Gideon since they had seniority.

Emily wasn’t upset at the news- she didn’t mind sharing a room with JJ- but her stomach did do a little flip. She and JJ had already shared a room before and JJ had even slept over at her apartment once after getting way too drunk to drive home safely, but lately Emily had been feeling confused about JJ. The two were becoming fast friends and Emily loved their friendship but a few times she had caught herself staring at JJ’s hair or holding eye contact a little longer than she did with any of her other co-workers. She knew it was childish to get a crush on JJ and she tried to stop herself from feeling that way, but it was hard to stop the way she was beginning to feel. 

When they reached the hotel room, JJ held the door open for her and she walked in first.

Shit, she thought looking around the room. Now her stomach was really tying itself into knots. 

“JJ, did you mean to book us a single bed” Emily asked, feeling like her voice was shaking way more than it actually was, “Or is there a mistake with our room?”

“Sorry, there weren’t any doubles left. It was impossible to even get the four rooms we got. If it's any consolation, Morgan and Reid will have to share a bed too. Unless one of them wants to take the couch I guess.” 

They both chuckled a little at the thought of Morgan and Reid sharing a bed. 

“I could take the couch if you want,” Emily offered.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Emily. We slept together when I was over at your house that one time. Well, in the same bed” JJ was flustered at her mispeak and Emily held back a laugh. 

“Wishful thinking Agent Jareau?” Emily joked, but secretly she was searching JJ’s eyes to see what kind of reaction she might give to the suggestion. JJ gave her a disapproving look but she didn’t seem put off by the comment. But then again she had no idea Emily wasn’t entirely joking. Or that Emily was gay for that matter.

“The point was that there’s plenty of room for both of us in the queen and no need for you to take the couch.” JJ finished, regaining herself, “I’m going to go get ready for bed in the bathroom so I can get to sleep cause I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah it was a long day. I’ll just get changed out here while you're in the bathroom, okay?” Emily replied.

“Yeah of course” JJ said, grabbing her toiletry case and pjs as she headed to the bathroom. While JJ didn’t seem upset by Emily's joke, something in the mood had shifted. An awkwardness, a distance, had appeared between the two women. Emily wondered if the joke had been a mistake. Maybe she had made JJ feel uncomfortable. That was the last thing she wanted to do. 

In the back of her mind, Emily knew that was part of the real reason she hadn’t come out to the team. While she already knew that none of them would be outrightly homophobic, she didn’t want anyone to be uncomfortable around her. Especially JJ. Emily had never really had close friends due to her constant movement as a child and her undercover work as an adult so now that she felt like she might finally have a chance at close friends she really didn’t want to fuck it up by making them uncomfortable to be around her. That and the lingering hints of internalized homophobia that haunted her, the little voice inside that made her feel like her attraction to women made her just as creepy and horrible as the cops who ogled JJ and tried to hit on her and touch her back or her hands when it wasn’t really necessary… treating her like she owed them something just for existing. Like she existed for them. 

Emily sighed, realizing that the faucet had turned off and JJ was done brushing her teeth meaning she had to get changed quickly before JJ got out. She quickly threw on sweatpants and an old t-shirt from her college days and grabbed her toiletry bag just as JJ walked out. Emily smiled at her and ducked behind her into the bathroom. Quickly Emily brushed her teeth and washed her face, thinking about how the bathroom smelled like JJ.

When she left the bathroom, JJ had already turned out the lights and claimed the left side of the bed. Quietly Emily slipped under the covers, her back facing towards JJ. At first it seemed she would never fall asleep because she she was so distracted by JJ's breathing, but it had been a long day and she still ended up falling asleep quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aha thank you for reading,,,,, i will try to update this sometime in the next few days since i already know what will happen next but i have an english paper that i should really be writing so i might not update until like next tuesday. i promise there is more to come though!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team starts to work on the profile and Emily has to interview the family of one of the victims.
> 
> Also there's a cute cuddling moment :)
> 
> Also not sure why everyone does this but obvi I don't own any characters, credit to cbs even though I'm still mad they didn't give us jemily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sm for the support on the first chapter! I am definitely feeling more motivated to actually finish it knowing so many ppl already read it!
> 
> This chapter is mostly about the case but I needed to move the plot forward but I tried to add little jemily moments when possible so hopefully thats good!
> 
> And since this is my fic and I can do what I want Gideon is just gone because he's sort of irrelevant. 
> 
> TW: homophobia, canon-typical violence

When Emily woke up the next morning, she was surprised to find JJ’s arm wrapped around her.  _ She must have shifted around in her sleep _ , Emily thought,  _ which is certainly ok with me. _ She felt herself relax and begin to drift back into sleep. Unfortunately right then their alarm went off, startling Emily and rousing JJ from her sleep.

“Morning Em,” JJ slurred, still half asleep. 

“Morning” Emily replied. JJ sat up and realized she'd pretty much been spooning Emily.

“Oh, um, sorry,” she said “I guess ended up snuggling with you in the middle of the night,”

“Don’t worry about it. You didn’t wake me up or anything.” Emily said, trying not to show how much she had enjoyed being cuddled with. Quickly, before she could decide to just keep laying in the bed with JJ, Emily got up and grabbed a change of clothes for the day, “Do you mind if I take the shower first?” she said, gesturing to the bathroom.

“Yeah no problem,” JJ said, clearly still trying to wake herself up.

As she got ready, Emily couldn’t stop thinking about how nice it was to wake up in JJ’s arms.

***************

When the team arrived at the precinct that morning, they started out by bouncing some ideas off each other.

“Based on the physical similarities between the victims, I would guess that the vics are surrogates,” Morgan suggested.

“Considering the age of the victims, probably a girlfriend or wife” Prentiss added, “maybe the unsub’s spouse left him for a woman, and that's why he’s targeting lesbians and bisexuals.”

“That's a good theory, Prentiss,” said Hotch, “perhaps-” Hotch continued, but he was interrupted by Morgan’s phone ringing. 

“Hey baby girl, you’re on speaker.” Morgan answered.

“I’ve got bad news- another victim was just discovered only a few blocks from the others. I’m sending over the address right… now!” Garcia said. As always she was chipper, but she seemed disheartened by yet another victim. This new victim brought the body count up to four.

“Thanks baby girl, we’ll give it a look,” Morgan said, hanging up the phone.

“Alright Morgan- you and Reid can go check out the crime scene, Prentiss, can you handle the second victim’s family when they get to the station? They said they would come in this morning. Hopefully they’ll be able to give us more information about where she may have been taken from since we still don’t know where the unsub is finding his victims. JJ, you and I will work on a media strategy for the latest victim.” Hotch said.

“Sounds good. Let's get going pretty boy,” Morgan said, winking at Reid. 

“Yeah I’ve got the family.” said Emily, attempting to appear calm even though she was worried about having to deal with the family. She could already feel her heart start to beat faster and she fought the urge to bite her fingernails. Emily knew this case was affecting her emotionally- she just felt too connected to the victims. In addition to the whole sexuality thing, they were also all dark haired white women. Emily would blend right in to the victim wall.

***************

While Emily was waiting for the family to arrive, crime scene photos had arrived from the latest scene. 

JJ printed a few copies out and handed one to Emily, sitting down next to her to take a look at the photos as well. It became apparent from the first photo that this victim was a big escalation from the last one- in addition to having 7 more stabs on her torso, the word DYKE was carved across her stomach in bold bloody letters.

Seeing the photo of the girl tipped Emily's already bubbling emotions over the edge. 

JJ, who had also been looking over the files, looked up and noticed the way Emily had tensed up.

“Em, are you alright?” she asked.

Emily looked up at JJ, and for a moment it looked like her barriers had broken down and she might actually share something. The moment however was fleeting and she quickly returned to her usual hardened look, concealing what she might have been thinking.

“Yeah- yeah I’m fine. I just need to go to the ladies room real quick.” she said, closing the file and standing up. As she walked to the bathroom she had to work hard to keep her emotions under control. 

As soon as the door shut behind her though, a ragged breath escaped her. She stared at herself in the mirror as a tear rolled down her face.  _ Control yourself,  _ she thought,  _ for christ’s sake you're a grown woman get it together.  _ She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, stabilizing herself. She took a paper towel and dabbed her face clean. Luckily, her makeup hadn’t started to run so no one would be able to tell she had been crying.

JJ knew that something was going on with Emily, but she decided to respect the woman’s privacy and decided not to follow her, even though she wanted to comfort her. 

After a few minutes, Emily took another deep breath and walked out of the bathroom, just in time to see the victim’s parents walk in.

She walked up to them, “Hi, are you Susan’s parents?”

They nodded and the woman started to cry for what looked like not the first time that day. The man squeezed her hand.

“I’m Agent Prentiss. I’m really sorry about your daughter. I just need to ask you a few questions about Susan. Anything you tell us could be extremely important in helping us catch the killer” She led them to an interview room and they sat down on the couch across from her.

“First off I need to ask you, was Susan dating anyone at the moment?”

“No she’s not seeing anyone right now, at least not that we knew of. Or um- she- she wasn’t,” the man said holding back tears. The woman cut in, asking, “Is this really relevant?”

“Actually it is. We believe that the other victims from this case have been all lesbian or bisexual so that may be part of the criteria that the killer uses to select his victims.”

“Well Susan told us she was bisexual last year…” the man said, “do you really think thats why she was killed?”

“It's possible. Like I said though, it's just a theory. Could you describe to me what Susan liked to do in her freetime? Did she like to go to bars or clubs?” 

“She was always a party girl despite our best efforts to get her to focus on school or her career.” said the woman.

“Do you know the names of any bars she liked to go to?”

“I can’t remember any” the man shook his head.

“Just the other day I think she was telling me about some place, maybe the z bar or something like that? But I can’t be certain,” the woman said.

“Thank you so much for your help, and again I’m so sorry for your loss. The information you gave us could be very useful in finding where this man is finding his victims. We’ll be sure to let you know if we have any updates in the case.”

“Thank you Agent Prentiss. I just hope you catch the bastard that did this to my daughter,” the man said.

“I’ll do my best.”

************

“Garcia, I need you to find a bar for me.” Prentiss said.

“And what might you know about this particular bar?”

“The victim’s mom said she thought it might be called the z bar? Probably located within a few miles of where victim number two was found.”

“You’re making this too easy on me- a name and everything” said Garcia, “though… it doesn’t look like anything is coming up from my search… Oh wait here- could it be called the QBar?”

“Yeah that’s probably it, Garcia. Would you mind checking to see if Susan or any of the other victims had made purchases at the bar shortly before their death?”

“Already on it… Looks like Susan and victim number four spent money there the night they were killed, but nothing on the other two. They always could have used cash though.”

“Thank you Garcia, you’re a genius.” Prentiss said. Finally it seemed like they had a lead in the case.

“You know I am, honey cakes. Garcia out!”

Prentiss shook her head and smiled as she hung up the phone and headed into the conference room.

“Anything useful from the victim’s family?” Hotch asked.

“Well they confirmed that she was bisexual and her mom said gave us the name of a bar that she liked to go to. Garcia confirmed that victims two and four spent money there the night they died so we may have found our unsub’s hunting ground.”

“Alright, with the message carved on the latest victim and the confirmation that all the victims are lesbian or bisexual, I think we’re ready to give the profile. Tonight we will go check out the bar- ask around and see if anyone knew Susan or one of the victims. We’ll also give the profile and see if anyone noticed someone who could be our unsub.”

“Sounds good Hotch,” Emily said, nodding. Then she went to go fetch Morgan and Reid from the coffee machine so they could give the profile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I already have some stuff written for the next few chapters but i'm always open to writing tips or suggestions in the comments, so make sure to let me know if you have thoughts.
> 
> Also forgive any mistakes, I am my own proofreader and this is my first fic.


End file.
